Let me first say, before any judgment rains down on me from others, I know I am the most unworthy person to even think about uttering anything in the name of Jesus. It's shameful that out of this same mouth and heart these words come. But they do. Because He is STILL working on me.
To you these are just onion shoots, to me, they are so much more.
A few weeks ago, I was in a bad spot. Lifeless, hopeless, and all dried up. Life can sometimes do that to you. If I'm completely open, I'm there again now.
Back at the end of February my pastor gave me these onions to plant. I meant to store them until gardening season started, but I forget about them. First, I left them in my truck, which meant they got pushed way up under the seat for who knows how long. I found them some time later, but I got busy so I tossed them in a box and put the box in the truck bed. I forgot about them again. Weeks later, I saw the box full of stuff and got it out and carried it inside and put it on the back porch. And yes, forgot about it again, and left it there for another few weeks. That's how I roll. Sad isn't it.
Sometime near the first of May, I saw the box again, and smelled a funk coming from it. I had forgotten what was in it.
I carefully removed the top contents of the box to reveal, you guessed it, lifeless, hopeless, dried up onions, with a few rotten ones to boot.
Looking down at those onions that day reminded me of a lot of things. They reminded me of my life. They reminded me how forgetful and lazy I can be. They shouted, "You are so wasteful, you can't get anything right!" These onions stunk and so did I.
I pondered on those onions and multiple times thought of throwing them away. But something just wouldn't let me, which was crazy, because honestly, these lil onions had had it. They were so dried out and when you squeezed them together there was literally nothing there. By my determination they were dead, and completely out of hope.
Back to just a few weeks ago, I gathered up all my seeds as well as the bag of dried up onions. (Why, I have no idea.) I began planting the garden and kept eyeing that bag of onions. Something or "someone" in my heart and head told me to plant them. I picked up the bag and laughed to myself, dug the row, all the while doubting and agitated that I was putting in more work than I thought I needed to. I began to talk to God about this whole thing. I began to place the lifeless onions in the ground and cover them over. With a sarcastic laugh I told God, "Okay, God, here you go, now do whatever you're big enough to do with these onions!" Sounds bold of me right, not really. God tells us to try Him and test Him. So no, it wasn't bold of me, but it was full of doubt. I also said, Lord God, IF you can somehow make these onions grow, if you can bring these lifeless, dried up, hopeless, old onions back to life then surely you can restore my heath.
You see, I have been sick for a long time, years and years. I had begged God to heal me over and over again. I had cried out with all my might, barely even able to catch my breath at times. I mean surely this must be His will, but apparently it wasn't. I felt as though my prayers were going nowhere, and that He wasn't listening and didn't even care.
I have been feeling this same way a lot here lately as well. To the point where I felt like giving up. To the point where I even said "I'm just not going to pray anymore!"
Just after sticking those onions in the ground I pulled out my lil packet of mustard seeds. I planted them all, except for one. I held that lil mustard seed in my hand and cried and said to The Lord," this is all I got, but you said that's all I need, so God, let's see what you can do," and then I walked away.
I went back to the garden yesterday to tidy up things and pick some weeds, and this is what I found.
Healthy, full of life onions, that sprung up from dried up hopeless seeds. God did what He is big enough to do.
There is hope. God does hear our prayers and He does care. He always gives us just what we need, just at the right time, to remind us of that. No matter how rotten, or how hopeless we may feel at times, He is there!